The 07/26/18 post, “When needs are met,” gives the text concerning Joseph’s time in prison, and looks at that time somewhat.
I want to amplify that examination, given that his circumstances and opportunities in that setting weren’t that much different from my own now.
Continue reading Joseph in prison
The practice has done me a ton of damage, and no good.
So now I take a different approach. Continue reading I am exhausted from grieving race.
Wednesday, December 18, 2019
I visited the ATM this afternoon to withdraw cash for this next week’s rent. Certain necessities arose at once, and at once drastic changes occurred in my motivations, hopes and dreams.
Continue reading Motivation and necessity
(Originally published July 5, 2013 at Trojan Horse Productions. Reblogged 2014-09-17.)
There is a song from The Sound of Music that relates; it concludes, “… I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don’t feel so bad.”
Wednesday morning I stood outside McDonald’s having my last smoke before leaving. I considered that as soon as I got to the library, I’d need to count my pennies and plan spending for the rest of the week. I pondered whether or not to buy a soda on my way there. I’d had some unusual spending earlier in the week, and faced some more unusual spending in connection with the 4th of July (The library’s closed.). The wisdom of having bought or not bought a soda at this time would depend on the outcome of that planning.
Continue reading When you can’t get what you want
(Originally posted June 22, 2013 at Trojan Horse Productions. Reblogged 2014-09-10.)
My normal day runs as follows. After breakfast at the mission, at 5:45 I head for McDonald’s, where I drink coffee ($1.06) and do my prayer routines. Around 9:15, I head for the library, stopping at a convenience store en route to buy smokes ($2.75) and a soda ($1.69). From 10:00 to 2:00 I’m online at the library. When my time’s up, I go to the Wi-Fi café, write in my diary and have another cup of coffee ($1.00). Then it’s back to the mission, where I have to pay admission ($3.00).
Sunday mornings, I am normally left with bus fare to church ($1.60) and pennies. I meet my patrons at church and obtain an allowance for the next week.
Continue reading A simple lesson
(Originally posted 08/15/13 at Trojan Horse Productions. Reblogged 05/21/14.)
[Note, 08/15/13: Releasing this now as I will have another post on similar topics in the very near future.]
Wednesday afternoon 07/03/13 I stepped into the shower and said, “OK, what will I think about?” The answer came, “Think about nothing. Give yourself completely to this activity, this experience.”
And at once, for the first time in weeks, I felt the boost that comes from conserving one’s energies, when they are no longer being drained by attention to things distant from here and now and what I myself can do.
This is the power of presence.
[Notes to follow up on in the future:
– Scott Morrison
– Brother Lawrence: silence; feelings
– Forgive us our trespasses
– Take no thought
– The needle’s eye
– Just for today
– Serenity prayer
– Be here now
– Wherever you go, there you are
– Conspiracy Theorists: America’s Lost Sheep?
– Was There a Jesus? If So, What Was He Like?]
At the shelter, we’re required to attend chapel for an hour every night. I normally find it just as edifying as a traffic jam.
The group from “Guilford” presents on the fourth Monday every month. About a dozen of them come. Their leader is J_____ R__. Different ones preach in different months. When J_____ R__ preaches, the message is always the same.
“Just how bad do you think you’ve got it?”
Continue reading “Just how bad do you think you’ve got it?”
(Originally posted 08/25/12 at Trojan Horse Productions. Reblogged 05/07/14.)
06/25/12 I had to buy another flash drive.
I was downloading the music for The William Tell Show. I backed up the .mp3 files by attaching them to e-mails to myself. Problem: some files, such as the first movement of Tchaikovski’s violin concerto, exceed 25 MB and can’t be attached to a Yahoo! e-mail. What to do? Get another flash drive, to back up just those files.
My current flash drive consisted of an aluminum sleeve wrapped around a flat plastic stick. The stick had the USB contacts at one end, and the other end was shaped into a hook. By moving the sleeve back and forth, you could either expose the USB contacts for use, or hide them and expose the hook, to clip the drive onto, say, a key ring for storage.
The clerk offered me a different kind, with no hook or loop or anything that would let me attach it to something for storage. I don’t want to carry the drive around loose in my pocket or bag. So I asked for another like the one I already have. She said people have had trouble with those because “they’re easily breakable.” She said the staff at the Public Computer Center had seen this so much that they asked for the new kind instead.
I smiled and said nothing.
The drives aren’t easily breakable. Rather, some people easily break them.
Continue reading Easily breakable
(Originally posted 01/29/14.)
In the process of “recycling” old posts on Wednesdays(*), I am now coming upon a number of posts with which I’m not completely comfortable. I probably would not write them, now or in the future, the way I did at the time; but I’m also still not sure exactly how I’d write them differently.
At the time I wrote those posts, I supposed my homelessness would be brief, and William Tell would soon enough become a public figure able to speak to what he saw as the pressing social issues. My homelessness continues eighteen months later, and my perceptions of those issues have changed.
Continue reading Issues with upcoming posts
Proverbs 30:15: “The leech has two daughters. Their names are ‘Gimme’ and ‘Gimme.’”
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Saturday 05/12/12, 3:00 p.m. — I tired today of strangers asking me for things when I was on smoke breaks out in front of the library.
Other homeless guys have talked with me about this in the past, expressing similar frustrations.
People talk about “What goes around comes around,” but when it comes to this stuff, I don’t see it. In my years in the ’hood (Barclay area, 2006-2011) I got the definite impression that it’s always the exact same individuals asking, asking, asking, and the “blessing” never gets passed on, nor do they ever give back.
They’ll bleed you dry.
Continue reading Gimme