I happened upon this completely by accident. Quite a few of the suggestions echo things I’ve been saying for a long time. I note particularly the connection between happiness and health.
6In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Continued from yesterday’s post, Part 1.
Justice and feedback
Ever since grade school, I’ve been fervently interested in prison reform. I had compassion for these “bad people.” I would want the prison experience to give a “bad” person every reason, every chance, every motivation to mend one’s ways. But this is definitely not happening in our prisons now.
A basic tenet I’ve maintained here, is that one’s feelings are largely independent of one’s circumstances; and that one can typically choose how to feel, no matter what one’s circumstances are.
Well, maybe not always.
But for sure, feelings come on that one will not like, that have no relationship to anything that’s happened in the real world. How to deal with them?
Presence makes it easier
– to be aware of one’s feelings;
– to choose or change them at will;
– to choose to be happy, since seldom is anything actually happening “here and now” to be upset about.
We got called into the shower, and this guy cut in front of me to get to the clothes window, and he was taking a long, long time. An eternity. Now, me? I finish at the clothes window in an instant. (Related: Practical advantages of being a nice guy.) So it made it easier for me to grouse that this ay-ho was taking so damn long.
(Originally published 06/06/13 at Trojan Horse Productions. Republished here 10/30/13.)
This has been a very heavy day, and there’s a lot here. For the moment, at least, I will not try to organize this.
Darkness at times appears to serve Light; destruction, to serve creation.
It is a rude awakening for me to have to revisit the world of infantile self-centeredness, apparently to have to re-learn correctly this time (at age 57!) some things I didn’t learn correctly on the first go-round.
A world where it is correct for me to want things only for “Me, me, me!”
Continue reading Me, Me, Me
Friday, October 6.
I arrived at the shelter where I stay at 14:32. There was no line of people waiting admission. They nominally open the gate at 14:30, but in fact sometimes do at 14:15, 14:00 or even 13:00. When I later asked what time they’d opened today, I was told 14:30. That can’t be factual, though: given current intake procedures, they can’t possibly have processed 30+ persons in two minutes.
Marvin arrived at the same time. I stayed outside to finish a cigarette, and he slipped in in front of me. He got assigned #41, “my” bunk, a bottom bunk. I got assigned the only available remaining bunk, #40, a top bunk and thus much less desirable.
If I had arrived only 30 seconds earlier, I would have been assigned “my” bunk, a bottom bunk, the one much more desirable. I found myself scouring my memory as to anything I could have done to have left church even 30 seconds earlier. I would recognize the mistake of looking only at my last activities before leaving; whereas 30 seconds at any point during the day would have made the difference.
I would recognize that I was “bargaining.”
Tuesday, November 8, 2016
Last week I was turned away from the shelter three times: Sunday night, Wednesday night and Thursday night.
Under current conditions, to be sure I get a bunk, I must show up no later than 14:15. It’s not just a matter of being on time, but of getting near the front of the line. And that’s iffy in itself, given that there’s always a bum rush when the gate opens at 14:30.
Accordingly, I must wrap up my activities at church at 13:30 and leave out no later than 13:45. But the way my day goes, it’s normally 13:00 before I have opportunity to do anything for job search. That leaves me half an hour. Can’t do much in half an hour. It’s been a daily disappointment that I don’t even get off the e-mail to J___ M___, my contact at S&K.
What I want ain’t getting done. May be time to change what I want — Continue reading Changing what I want
Three incidents from Sunday 09/18:
(1) I caught the racial vibe as soon as she came in the room.
(2) In the middle of worship, I looked at my situation. I needed to touch base sometime during the service with _____, _____ and _____, any of whom might give me cash; for smokes, bus fare and candy. I also needed to touch base sometime during worship with each of three other people ISO a ride “home.” My petty, material, selfish neediness so preoccupied me, I couldn’t get into the spirit of worship at all. This did not feel good.
(3) At the shelter, in the shower, for a washcloth they gave me a strip of fabric that had been torn from a towel, two inches wide and six inches long. That was to be my washcloth.
I responded as follows.
Behind certain events of Sunday 09/18 that I will report later, I am making new efforts this week to reduce or eliminate smoking.
This has nothing to do with my finances or health. Instead, it’s all about choosing feelings.