Category Archives: Motivations

Scary

“God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.”
                                    — Psalm 46:1

I am aging much faster than I’d like. Continue reading Scary

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Keep the focus on you

(Originally published 09/15/12 at Trojan Horse Productions.  Reblogged 06/25/14.)

Teddy is an old man. He wears a rosary around his neck, and never fails to “testify” in chapel. “I talk to the Father, Son and Holy Ghost every day,” he says. Every time there’s an altar call, he runs right up there to get born-again — again. Five times a week, he’ll do that.

He got barred out a year ago for selling someone oxycontin.

Friday night 09/07/12, he came back. He insists to everyone that he’s never been here before, and said he wants to get into the program.

Aside from those things, he hasn’t changed at all. Still all the same empty religious talk.

Sunday night he said he changed his mind about the program. They require you to sign over all your benefits, and he’s not willing to do that. That tells me you don’t want to get well.

I get bad feelings every time I see him.

———— ♦ ————

Sitting outside waiting to be let in, Wednesday 08/29/12 Fallon and a couple other guys I don’t like too much got into reminiscing about how this shelter used to be, years ago, before the renovation. This upset me.

Continue reading Keep the focus on you

I’m so jealous!

(Originally published 06/11/13 at Trojan Horse Productions.  Reblogged 06/11/14.)

Delilah: Radio Host Talks About Why Her Show Is so Successful

I’ve never heard of this woman before. She and I appear to be on the same wavelength.

If only that were more than a pun!

Update, 2014-06-13:

A follower has advised that the link seems to point to an interview with Michelle Kwan.

The restrictions on videos on web pages here at the library are such I normally ignore them, and count on people just reading the text.  For the video interview with Delilah one wants to click on this image:

Purification

The center of the universe is you.

Here and now, this moment, wherever you are — that is the center of the universe, for you.

From this point, you can move in any direction, in any direction.  But you can only begin here.  You cannot begin from anywhere else.

Continue reading Purification

Job search status: Pep talk

(Originally posted 12/26/12 at Trojan Horse Productions.  Reblogged 05/07/14.)

A week ago today I had a highly successful interview at a dollar store. There may be one obstacle that, if it’s there, cannot be overcome; but if it’s not there, I’ll have to take a drug test and go for a second interview at which the actual job offer will be made. In the days since, there have been some communications glitches. Meanwhile, time goes on.

This morning in my last five minutes at Lenny’s, I prayed about this, reflecting on (1) my disappointment to have had no word so far and (2) the path by which I got here.

I just completed a two-month “job readiness” program … not as if I needed any program to make me “ready” for a job, but this one is unique in that while one is taking classes, they have scouts hunting down specific job opportunities that well match each candidate. That is the big factor I see missing for most people in the big picture.

Was the class a waste of time? Continue reading Job search status: Pep talk

Job search update, 05/05/14

Positions applied to in April 2014:

Administrative Secretary – Johns Hopkins University – Req. No. 60760
Secretary II – Salvation Army – Pos. No. 179010
Administrative Secretary – Johns Hopkins University Welch Center – Req. No. 60914
Casual dining busperson – Horseshoe Casino
Countroom representative – Horseshoe Casino
Kitchen worker – Horseshoe Casino
Steakhouse busperson – Horseshoe Casino
Steward – Horseshoe Casino
Valet cashier – Horseshoe Casino
Administrative Assistant – Service Corporation International

Tuesday, 04/29/14. Disliking the fact that I’m dependent is the exact opposite of wanting to become independent. By virtue of attention as gravity, the former is actually likely to keep me dependent. It also just plain feels bad, and diverts the energies I need to do the latter. Being happy, in contrast, will make life easier for me and the men around me.

Monday night in the line going up from the basement to supper, we passed the laundry room, and this guy working there called hi to me, and then said, “He’s always happy.” On the one hand, if he only knew. On the other hand, if that’s indeed how I come off to people, that’s a blessing.

To everyone.

(Originally posted 05/05/14.)

6) Emanate love.

<– 5) Pray for the public schools. Home

Hostility and turmoil pervade the places you don’t want to go.  The spiritual darkness is palpable at noon, and the folk are too lacking in self-love to organize their lives.

The area around my church is nowhere near that bad, but still significantly distressed.

Prayer for my congregation is inseparable from prayer for that ‘hood, and I engage in such prayer every day. Continue reading 6) Emanate love.

Accepting revulsion 3: (I don’t know what to say.)

March 31, 2018

When I attend enough to becoming upwardly mobile myself, I often find myself looking down on the men around me now.

I don’t want to look down on anyone.  These are (mainly) good guys.  These are friends.

So this a learning opportunity, a growth opportunity.

It appears to be a common problem for folk who seek upward mobility.

I find this morning that perhaps I can sublimate or incinerate those feelings as they come on, burning up emotional filth to release light and admiration for guys who, after all, are doing the best they can with the resources they’ve got, and whose motivations no one can gainsay.

Related:
The request of James and John, part 1
The request of James and John, part 2
Resolution