What a homeless man dreams of


(Originally posted 10/11/13.)

Having several interviews in quick succession has raised my hopes and made my dreams more vivid.

I can hardly wait to become a taxpayer again. This has been on my prayer list (I pray for it daily.) for more than two years.

They pass the offering plate at church, and now I’m wanting each time to put something in. If either of these jobs works out, I will be able to tithe, use my offering envelopes, and give $30 or $60 each week.

I dream of having a kitten, and cleaning the litter box each day. Seriously: I dream intentionally of playing with the cat, and cleaning the litter box. The point: I will have bought and paid for the cat, its food, the litter box, the litter, and the rent on this apartment, all with my own hard-earned money.

I likewise dream intentionally of washing dishes; sweeping and mopping the floor (normally on my hands and knees); and doing laundry. I take joy in these for the same reason: I bought the pots, food and dish soap; I bought the broom, dust pan, mop, bucket and detergent; I bought the clothes; I pay the rent, all with money I earned.

In my view, these dreams constitute prayer.

The biggest difference between me and most people around me is that they love to get things, but I love to create things. Thus they may like to gamble, for example, whereas I’d rather write or garden or cook.

There’s no end to what a single man can accomplish with one two-quart saucepan. It serves as cooking pot, serving dish and plate. Unless I change my ways, I’ll wash and scrub it thoroughly before each use (sic).

Not everyone will find my favorite dishes appealing, but these are things we never get at the shelter, and I dream about them often:

  • A big pot of green lima beans with butter. With bread or baked potatoes on the side, this can last three or four days.
  • A pot of spaghetti, into which I’ll stir a big wallop of peanut butter and slices of cheddar cheese. That will probably be consumed the same night.
  • Popcorn: Melt two tbsp. of butter in the saucepan, add the yellow corn and cover. Once three kernels pop, remove from heat for one minute. Upon return to heat, after about one minute the remaining corn will all pop at once, with no unpopped kernels and no scorching. It’s already “buttered.” Sprinkle with paprika, if desired.
  • Chicken livers!on air talent, radio talk show, talk show host, the homeless blogger

Shortbread. Anyone can easily make at home, world-class shortbread equal to the best of the best. I’ve done it many times. Two parts sugar, three parts butter, four parts flour. Knead with a fork until it becomes flaky. Press into a pan and bake.

Yeast breads. In 2010-11 (the year before I became homeless) I was routinely making breads of bakery quality; I could have gone into business. I will use the old-timey method, saving a lump of dough from one batch to use as yeast for the next.  See “Jesus’ outrageous parables.”

  • I’ll make cinnamon rolls at least once a week.
  • A peanut butter and jelly roll need not be cut into slices; I’ll just put the whole loaf in the loaf pan.  Fresh from the oven, it will be hard not to consume the same night.

Then I dream some more about playing with the cat.  Four legs of female in bed every night — the biting, the clawing, the scratching — Oh, what a feline!

on air talent, the homeless blogger, radio talk show, talk show host

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